What do people see when you walk into a room? Hopefully
they see a confident, successful business owner. But if you're not careful,
your body language may be projecting a very different image.
"You
are in control of [the message] you are sending out," Barbara Pachter
writes in her book The Essentials Of Business Etiquette. "I believe that
if you project a confident, credible, composed image, people will respond to
you as if you are all those things. Who cares what you are feeling on the
inside?"
The
most successful business people are the ones who understand exactly how to do
this. The following four tips can help you alter your body language and give
off a more confident vibe.
1.
Maintain an assertive posture.
The
key to coming off poised and confident is all in your posture. To stand
confidently, keep your legs aligned with your shoulders and your feet
approximately four to six inches apart. Distribute your weight equally on both
legs, keep your shoulders back — but not way back — and turn your body towards
others.
"This
is an assertive posture," Pachter explains. "It is a posture that
projects confidence, not insecurity. You are open to the person to whom you are
talking. And you can stand tall, regardless of your height."
Never
stand in a "submissive position" with your legs crossed, hands folded
in front of you, or weight pressed down on one hip.
2.
Watch your hands.
"An
important part of mastering body language is knowing what your hands are
saying," Pachter writes.
The
last thing you want to do is offend someone by jabbing a finger in their face.
Pointing can seem aggressive, but many people do it without understanding how
intimidating it may be to others.
Instead,
when you're explaining an idea, "point with an open palm, and keep your
fingers together," she writes. "Both men and women point, but women
have a tendency to do it more than men."
Placing
your hands on your hips is a posture many people use, but this can actually
give off an air of arrogance or impatience. If you tend to play with your hair,
tap your nails on tables,
or jiggle coins in your pocket when you're in front of a group, remember that
behavior and try to resist it.
"You
will drive others crazy if you indulge in these activities," Pachter
warns. "Pen-clickers, hand-wringers, and rubber-band stretchers all reveal
nervousness."
3.
Don't cross your legs.
In
a professional setting, crossing your legs can be distracting for others,
depending on what you're wearing. For a woman, if her dress is too tight,
"she projects a very sexy, too-thigh-revealing image," Pachter
writes. For a man, if the hem of his pants is too short, it will be distracting
when he crosses his legs and shows off bare skin.
"The
bottom line, however, is health related: crossing your legs is bad for your
circulation because it increases the pressure on your veins. We shouldn’t do
it," she advises.
4.
Pay attention to your face.
Know
what your standard face looks like. This is the face that most people see when
you're looking at them, listening to them, or just not talking in general. Some
people's standard faces can be very stern and not communicate what they're
feeling on the inside.
"There
can be career consequences to having a severe standard facial expression,"
Pachter says. "People may avoid you, think you are mad at them, or get
defensive around you. These are not good outcomes if you want to connect with
people."
What
can you do? Pay attention to the comments your friends and colleagues make when
you're listening to them. Do they think you're upset because you've furrowed
your brow in concentration? If this is the case, try to relax your muscles or
smile more often when meeting new people.
In
short, it's OK to be nervous when you're negotiating a deal or in a job
interview, but you should learn to control your body so that this doesn't show.
This post was originally published on OPEN Forum.
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